.all.thats.left.

urrrrgh i need the summerr!

Sat, 11 Jun 2005 00:16:39 GMT

damn im getting bad at updating this...but everything has been so insanely busy with work for the end of the year and everything...

last friday holly and i went minigolfing w/tom at kimballs & got ice cream...haha then we got to meet his grandparents...haha they were nice ;) then we hung out and watched the red sox game and just chilllllled and holly drove to the barn hahah yeah we're cool...

saturday...GD's graduation...so i went with holly, and it was soooo in credibly hott...we hung out with caroline becky jenna and morgan...woooooo goodtimes...got a nice sunburn it was greatt. afterwards i went to jenna bessellos grad party and brian nelson gave me a ride home...then later i went to danielle maynards party and then to pat's concert thing w/his band...prettttty cool...

sunday i did tons of homework and went to lindsay huttons grad party...andd watched my movie for my project

Monday my bro & dad left for dc so the house was quiet...
tuesday had the photo shoot for the show
wednesday tons of workkkkk
thursday dress rehersal for the show

and TODAY im hangin out and doing HOMEWORKKKKk tomorrow's the show, then jenna's party, and idkk what else...damn i gotta get some sleep...peaace kiddos<33

everything burns

Fri, 03 Jun 2005 02:09:22 GMT

ahh its been forever since i've updated...lets see if i can even remember this past week...

tuesday...match vs. littleton was postponed till 7 @ groton school--i was late because i had dance till 6:30...and appnretly if i was "2 minutes" earliar, then i would have played 3rd singles. damn ittt. mrs.carver said she "waited out" for me...but w/e. i played exhibition and i beat the girl 6-0 6-0. i felt kinda bad but w/e.

wednesday...dance 7-9, missed the tennis match but we lost...

thursday match vs. westboro...with the boys...which was kinda nice cause i didnt have to watch the girls the whole time. then mrs.carver said i was playing exhibition then she said i wanst then she made me play...i was like wow MAKE up your mind. but yeah i beat the girl 5-2...i did alright i guess but i didnt play my best. oh well w/e its all good

friday we had our makeup match vs. hudson @ hudson...so we went and i played exhibition with leigh and we just didnt care...idk what the score was but w/e, tom came and got me early cuz i had to make it home to shower before tim's play. i went to tim's play with mary chris and my mom...it was wicked good =) tim did awesome! then afterwards we went out to eat...andddd yeah got home late.

saturday mowed my lawn for 6 hours bc it kept getting clogged it was RIDICULOUS i was ready to flip out. then afterwards becky and i went over to toms to hang outt, which was fun =)

sunday went to church, then went to chris's game in amherst...then went up to the lake and i applied to like 23498237 places for jobs...i got hired on the spot for 2 burger kings, one of which that was on the lake which was nice...and also got hired at a Dunkin donuts so ill probably work there until the other places call me back. my cousins were up there which was nice, so i got to see them...we took the boys + allison to dairy queen, and wathced "in good company" while i filled out all those applications...urrrrrgh

monday we had the day off from school so i spent the day dropping off applications, and just hangin out at the lake...i actually found a prom dress for $30 at tjmaxx so we got it as a backup dress, i cant decide if i like it or not...but we'll see.

tuesday...practice for districts, went to lemonister for a consulation for my wisdom teeth, then right to dance, and then right to sports awards...WOOOOO busy night...

wednesday...class day, and we got our yearbooks...prettty cool, then practice for districts, then dance 7-9, last rehersal in the studio which is a scary thought, but oh well...hopefully the show will turn out good =)

today i got to get out of school early to go to districts in tantasqua hahah like 5 minutes from CT...pretty awesome. the ride there was sooo long. we had lots of food though. we lost, but it was wicked closeeeeee. oh well, the seasons over and i dont really care but im gonna miss the seniors =(. tonight i just hung out and i finally got to talk to josh for an hour, his computers broken and ive been too busy to call him so it was nice to kinda catch up. i miss him =( well anyways sorry for this boring post, im outt peace<33

one more dance with you...

Tue, 24 May 2005 01:59:21 GMT

ughhh another week gone by...in a way the weeks are flyin, in another i just want summer to be here...

last wed...more lang arts MCAS...sucked...had to go to chem but we didnt do anything...then we had our match but it was cancelled at like 4...so i came home and chilled and watched part of what lies beneath w/chris...went to his soccer game, then went to rehersal till 9...fuuuuun stuff. half the time audrey seemed to be mad at me because im just laughing thru class to make it less painful (i hate that class haha) but then the other half she was impressed w/me bc something that ive been working on for awhile finally clicked and i was balancing like 100% better...idk i cant read her. hahah oh well...hopefully rehersal this wed goes well...

thursday...match vs fitchburg...didnt playy...cooooool. we won, so now we're going to districts after the seasons over...sweet. NOT...hmmm oh well. worked out the rest of thursday...anddd yeah

friday went in for MCAS, then left around 1030 and my mom and i drove to holliston to take my grandma out to lunch...then came back and jenna picked me up to go to promanade...everyone looked gorgeous =) afterwards we went up to the mall and walked around, waited for tom to meet us...but OH WAIT he ditched us...haha we called him and he met us while we ate...then the 3of us went and saw Monster in law which was...ehhh. i was pretty exhausted when i came home so i just like passed out...idkk

saturday rainy day...was home alone most of the day so i just did my housework, and worked out for a long time...tryin to get in shape for this summer. saturday night...didnt get any plans together cuz i was lazy so i just sat home and watched movies...yeahhh im a cool kid

sunday...babysat in the morning, did homework, church & worked out...thatssssss about it...shit at home is getting to me, but w/e...nothing i can do about that i guess...

today is monday againnnn and another week starts...the seniors signed out today =( damnitttt what do i have to look forward to everyday?? uggggh after school we got our tennis sweatshirts...andddd went to hudson to play...warmed up, started the matches, and it started pouring...so we came home...i missed chris's violin concert so ive been home doing homework & working out...hmmm yeahhh and now peter and i are arguing for like the 2034th time about josh...but what the fuck. im sick of this shit...seriously. why are people so dumb...im out

why am i fighting to live if im just livin to fight?

she said what?? and i told her that i didnt know...

Tue, 17 May 2005 23:20:33 GMT

wellpp its tuesday and what do ya know?? i have time to write...

sunday i ended up going to the movies w/kiana & laura...which was funny cause theyre a riot. we saw alot like love whichhh was definately not up to my standards but i guess it was alrright. afterwards we waited for a ride for abbout an hour and just got food and hung out...then i came home andddd did more homework...yessss. talked to josh for an hour and a half and he knew that shit was gonna hit the fan soon...and i told him he could make a decision to fix eeverything but hes made up his mind. theres nothing i can do now and i feel so helpless but what can ya do. i know this kids making a huge mistake and im gonna be hearing about it for the next year or so. and hes gonna ask for comfort from me and even though i told him it would happen, i have this weakness for him that i just cant let him go and i know that ill give him the comfort he needs but GOD DAMNIT he frusterates me so much.

k, glad i got that out...that felt a little better haha, most of you dont know the story but w/e...ill tell you if you must know but its complicated...

monday i thought would be easy cuz all the teachers arent supposed to assign homework cuz of MCAS but i was wrong...i got a shitload which sucked. and i had forgotten my chem lab was due, so now thats late. SWEEET. there goes my grade. i also got back about 4 bad grades whih brought my grade down 5 points. which is even more awesome. got a homework assignment in CERAMICS which is ridiculous, lots of bookwork for history, and worksheet in algebra2, plus studying for a quiz. yeahhhh so good thing tenis was cancelled cuz i did homework for approximately 3 1/2 hours...probably more. between then my dad and i dropped off some food at bill millars, some vertran from a war that lives in town...andddd peter called me to reassure me that shit hit the fan with josh and that theyre done talking and being best friends. i cant blame peter but now shit is so messed up. i mean, now when i go up to NY peter and i cant hang out if im with josh because peter hates him...GREATT. this is just awesome. peter and i talked for an hour...and then my dad and i figured out some of the minor details about the roadtrip...and i called steve to ask him a few questions about the graudation yadayadayada. i talked to josh last night and i was upset with him but i just tried to hide it cuz theres nothing i can do now that he made this stupid decision...but i gotta deal with it and stick with him cuz thats what friends do...i just dont know anymore. i reallyyyyy dont. i gotta see where this goes...and i guess i care so much because deep down he still has a part of me which sounds gay but...idk all i know is that i hate it and sometimes i wish i never met the kid even though he made such an impact on my life. why does this always happen to me. i wish i could jsut be normal...

today, was mcas, then cait and i went to all 3 lunches and skipped C period but i had to go to D because i had a friggan QUIZ that took me and HOUR to finish...yeah shoulda been a test cuz it was like 4 sections. oh well...afterwards i had a match, and i played 1st doubs against st.bernards...and joelle and i won 6-3, 6-2 but half the time i thought i was playing well the other half i sucked there was no middle. uggggggh oh well. afterwards i had rehersal and we cleaned up the dance which was good...but i was exhausted. and nowwww im just hangin out cuz i dont have homework due tomorrow. yeahhh how relieveing is that...

okayy imm out, enough ranting<3

i drive myself crazy...thinking of you

Sat, 14 May 2005 20:21:04 GMT

hmmmm so i finally have a free sec to write about the past week...last sunday was mothers day, but my mom went to CT to see pat play for the CMAC team...and chris went with them, so i spent the day doing nothing then me and my dad went out to lunch and to church...

Monday had a match @ clinton...and i played 1st doubles w/edith...and we won the first on like 6-2 or so...then the second one in a tiebreaker. yeahhh it was close. and everyone was waiting cuz we were the last to start playing cuz they only had 4 courts but w/e... we were NOT going into a 3rd set. when i got home i talked to peter and theres an issue going on w/josh that im not gonna explain here but i was sooooo pissed off. i called josh and we talked for almost 2 hours...most of the time was just him sitting there thinking and trying to explain how he felt but...w/e. i felt stupid cuz i was like getting upset on the phone and i was hoping josh couldnt tell i was crying...w/e he told me he was glad i called him cuz he needed to talk...but i hope he listens to me. =/ i feel so helpless being so far away...

tuesday practice @ the highschool...then aftewards the boys had practice and my dad was letting me drive home...i turned the car on w/my foot on the gas and it made the biggets VROOOOOMMMM sound cuz i thought my foot was on the brake...but yeah nopppe! all the guys turned around and were laughin and my dad was like yeahh shes a hot rod i basically wanted to die. hahah then i had dance...anddd yeah.

wednesday practice @ SU, then we taught our own class cuz audrey wasnt there...hahah fun stuff bc we dug out the old BSB cd's and did combos to them...hahah goodtimes. i love those girls =) kevin even stayed awhile to watch renee, and we gave him a hard time for making fun of our costumes (even though they do really suck) haha oh well...

thursday...practice @ SU, hit up donelans w/sammy & jenna to get food for the party...then headed over to emily's for our tennis party hahah...ate tons of food, watched a movie, and had drinks @ the bar...funnnn stufff. josh went missing that night and when i talked to him i knew he was lying about where he was...but w/e this kid needs to start telling me the truth before i flip a shit.

friday longgggg day @ school, then match @ bromfield...(distract state champs) yeahh and i wa splaying 2nd doubles! ahhh with sammy. idont wanna go into detail cuz i was so mad after the match, but lets just say that we were playing our hardest & mrs.carver was not helping the situation. she made us feel like shit, and we ended up losing 6-4, 6-1...she is one of the worst coaches ever. my mom says i played really well and shes never seen me play lik ehtat ever...and im gonna go on her word, because i know she'd be honest with me...i went home friday and didnt really have plans and i was too lazy/mad to make any...so i hung out alone and watched a movie...and wated for my mom to get back around 11:30...

today...i was planning on going to the movies w/ki but we couldnt get a ride...so i just hung out, and kristina came over for a few hours...talked to josh again, which made me more aggravated...but w/e. idk what to do anymore. well im going to babysit in a few...and i wont be back till midnight, so leave somethin good...

theres somethin about you...

Sun, 08 May 2005 16:29:28 GMT

hmm yeahh so its been awhile since ive written...ive been busy. let me back up to last week...if i can even remember. couldnt make it to dance last week cuz my neck/back hurt so bad...supposedly i cracked my sternum from getting dropped on my head, so i guess im gonna have to go to the doctors for that. damn it. uhh last friday i ended up goin to my grandmas...then the next morning we went to see my new baby cousin gregory patrick and my cousins alex & andrew... so that was nice. my uncle made us breakfast, then we went to watch chris's soccer game in northboro in the pouring rain. FUNNNN stuff. saturday night i went out to dinner w/some ppl including amber rob brenden kerry and jen...that was nice to see all them cuz i neverrrrr see them (Besides rob @ school but yeahh) then afterwards i came home and caroline slept over. we went out in the hottub and there was some huge animal in my backyard but it was too dark to see what it was...hahah then we watched a movie and went to bed cuz we were exhausted. sunday didnt do much of anything besides drive...

monday...tennis practice of course...
tuesday...skipped my tennis match to make it to rehersal and its a good thing i did cuz we finished the last 2 minutes of the dance...and angela took the flip out of the dance cuz its too dangerous. thankkk god.
wed...half day, then match vs. littleton...we won. i was supposted to play, but i missed the match on tues so i had to sit and watch. awesoooome. then i had dance and it was good to see the girls after missing last week. our costumes are ugly thoughhh i hate them. =/ urrgh oh well.
thursday...it was sooo nice out. we had practice and i got sunburned which was surprising cuz i didnt realize how warm it was...mmm i love that weather. ohhh yeah and my mom and i went up to nashua and i drove on the highway ahh it was soo scary. hahah oh well...ill get used to it.
friday...had to leave the Hudson match early so i could go home and shower before tom came to pick me up for the red sox game...we drove in, and we got there like rightttt on time. it was my first red sox game and it was soo fun =) im like in love with the red sox now. everry second of it ws so different then watching it on tv...but yeahh. on the way home we stopped for pizza and i got home around 12:30 and my parents were asleep hahah wierd cuz one of them almost always waits up for me. i guess they trust tom haha...
saturday...vacuumed, then went to the mall w/holl & alclick to get stephs present...we got her 2 of these hyterical books, sweet home alabama dvd, and a shirt... then we went back to holls and hung out before stephs surprise party...steph knew about the surprise but w/e we made the best of it =) afterwards holl and i drove around with tom anddddd i had to be in by 11 so...yeah.

alright well today my dads being cool and nagging me to do all my homeworkk so leavve somethin if ya feel like it<33

sweet sixteen

Thu, 28 Apr 2005 02:12:39 GMT

yayy im finally sixteen!! =D feels so good to driiiiive i love it! =) hmm so lemme back upp::

saturday i got up early to get ready...and then caroline jenna & becky got to my house around 10:45 so we could make the 11:30 train to boston...we saw leigh and her mom @ the trainstation! haha =) the trainride was funny just w/random stuff...we got to boston and it was downpouring of course and we're all dressed up in heels for the show...so we were like running w/our umbrellas...hahah yeah comical. we took the subway to phantom of the opera and it was wiiicked good. best show ive everrr seen! afterwards we got the subway to harvard square...and these sketchy wiiiierd guys were following us...ahhh wierd. and then we saw 50 cent junior on the bus hahah i swear it was his son...but yeahh...we had dinner @ fire & ice and allison met us there =) it was good to see her. we had dinner & our waiter brought us a whole free pitcher of shirley temple cuz he put ice in my drink...hahah he was nice =) but he thought we were crazyyyy. after that we went home...and it was pouring so becky drove us to the movie placeee and steve called me up to wish me happy birthday =) and JOSH FORGOT so steve called him...hahah coool kid. so we got a movie and then went back to beckys to get their stuff...then back @ my house we opened my presents...the girls got me a towel, flipflops, makeup, a bathing suit, and a necklace =) i love itt. josh called, but i lost connection so i called him back when we went out in the hottub IN THE RAIN w/an umbrella hahah ya we were toooooo cool. we stayed up and watched some stephen king movie...which was sooo fucked up but yeahh...then we went up in my attic and allison caroline and jenan passed out so me and becky talked to jerzy and then pat for like an hour...wow coool kid...

sunday woke upp and had some waffles...then becky and caroline stayed for awhilee till like 2pm...then they went home and i did hw and helped my mom make lunch...then i went to churchh and i met this girl britini whos wiiicked nice and we had so much in common it was freakkyyy like her bday is a day after mine and just all this stuff...she has good friends that live like 5 minutes from josh & them...and just alota other wierd stuff. but yeahh anywaysss

monday got my permitttt and my mom wouldnt drive w/me so my dad took me to fort devens and i drove for an hour...i sucked at first hahaha...but then he even let me drive home =D yayy. that night i was talking to josh and he was talking to me bout how he didnt have a date for prom and how he wished i could go with him but i couldnt cuz of my parents and stuff...ugggh i wish i could go so bad. =(

tuesday regular school & practice after...then right to dannncee...i was late so i didnt stretch out and we were practicing the flip thing and i had to do it with this girl that i dont really know/trust...and she flipped me over and almost dislocated both my shoulders so i told her to let go of my hands so the next time she did the flip she let go of my hands before i was even over her back and i came down from like 5 feet up right on my head like twisting my neck...omg it hurt soo bad...i was just sitting there and everyone was looking at me and i wanted to cry but i just held it in...ahh god it hurt soo bad. i did the rest of the rehersal but i wasnt feeling good at all...uggh oh well. my aunt finally had the baby...Gregory Patrick...cute, but im not sure i like the name...i was going for Adam...which was the 2nd choice but oh well.

today i got to drive to school =D but my neck was killing me like all dayyyy =( matt actually said hey to me today which was a first in awhile. made another pot in ceramics...im getting better at it hahah seeing as i used to suckkkk. tennis was cancelled cuz of the rainn...so i came home and watched center stage hahah cuz i needed some inspiration...riiiight...then went in the hottub to help my neck but it didnt feel much better =( my mom told me it'd prolly be better if i just rested my neck so i did...anddd had a shitload of chem andddd here i am getting yelled @ by my mom to get off line...soooo here i go. peace<33

1 day till my sweet sixteen

Fri, 22 Apr 2005 16:25:44 GMT

hmm so not that much has happened this week...Tuesday night i didnt go out cuz i was feelin sick...wed stayed in all day and it was 85 degrees out! urrgh me and pat had the flu...so we watched like 3 movies/tv all day...bummmerrr i wanted to go to the beach soo bad. we got the flu from my cousin a few days ago...grr. jenna came over to bring me my birthday present =) she brought me orangeish roses and BROWNIESSSS and a card =) yeah too bad at the time i couldnt EAT the brownies but i will =D i love girl...anyways i was feelin better so caroline and i hung out...we were gonna watch movies, but then we ended up just talking and makin up a dance and taking pictures w/my new camera...hahah yeahh fun =) cuz i havnet seen too much of that girl this week right?? hahah...got to hang out w/becky and tim alittle too...haha woo. but my mom wouldnt let me sleep over cuz i was still sick...

yesterday i went shopping w/my mom and we got to catch up on alota stuff...she took me out for sushi...and we went to kohl's. i got an outfit for boston...black skirt, and a greenish/blue tank top...and then i also got a pinkish tank top for summer, and a black dressy top for church?? haha yeahh...then we went to payless to look for shoes and i saw caroline there...hahah oh jeez. then i finally found a pair of shoes @ tj maxx so that works...even tho theyre like 5 inches idk if i can walk in them but i guess we'll see...after i came home and had to babysitt these 3 kids...they were so cute tho so it was fun =) much better then the hell children haha kenn...then right after that i went over to eddies to hang out w/some ppl...not that many people were there...me holly missy mere allie nick joe eddie sam willie teddy...other ppl i guess haha. they had a bonfire going out back so that was fun...came home anddd couldnt sleep all night cuz i was feeling sick again...AWESOMMME

today woke up and felt sick so i laid on the couch all morning...anddd now idk what im gonna do...i have the worst cramps and im supposta get my period for tomorrow which sucks ass because thats the day we're going into boston. plus its gonna rain. awesommmmmeee. lets just hope its just cramps and im not getting the flu again that would be horrible...oh yeah and my aunt's due to have the baby anyday! i wonder if she'll have it on my birthday...i guess we'll see. alrighttt well nothing much to write here, hope everyones vaca was awesome. laterr<33

"so these guys are lost...they're from new york...

Tue, 19 Apr 2005 18:35:01 GMT

wow...where do i start.

well, it turns out there was a reason for my dad being stupid & making me cancel all my plans. here let me tell the whole story...haha its gonna be long so just warning you.

first of all, alittle backround here. me and my friend josh, that i met on a cruise about 3 years ago, are still really good friends...we talk alot online & on the phone, but i still havent seen him since then. and his two best friends, steve & peter, have been talking to me alot too. anyways they always told me that this summer theyd come up to see me and i never really believed theyd come...soo yeah anyways...the story begins::

after school on friday, we had challenge matches YAYY which was fun & everything...she made me play jenna which was ridiculous cuz jennas #4, and im #13...but w/e. i lost 5-3, so then i walk over to the fence cuz i see my dad pull up...and i see 2 guys pull in behind him but i thought they were comin to see someone else play cuz i didnt regonize them...so my dads talking to me and everything and i was like okay well i have to go play portia now...and hes like no wait come over here so i walk over to the fence and the guys are still behind him and hes like well these guys...theyre lost...theyre from new york and i was like holy shittt...and i just stood there like in disbelief...i couldnt believe it...it was steve & peter (not josh...) but i was just like omggg i was speechless i didnt know what to say. haha and to make it worse, mrs.carver was getting pissed at me cuz i wasnt playing and w/e...i guess it took them 6 1/2 hours to get down here...and turns out they called my parents like 3 weeks ago to arrange a surprise for me. how cute is that....2 kids that i had never met. josh was supposta come but his parents are retarded but w/e...i played portia and i won 5-3 but i was so distracted jus cuz they were there...then i went out and talked to them when caroline got there...she was wicked surprised too. then mrs. carver was getting pissed cuz i thought i was done and i still had to play another match...grrrr i was getting so pissed! anywaysss after that, the guys drove me and caroline back to my house, and i showered...then we made pizza and talked for awhile, and finally decided we'd go to the movies...so we saw sahara which was long but pretty good...then we came home, and made lots of macaroni, and watched office space...then they slept in my bros room, and caroline slept over...we stayed up till like 2am talkinggg haha oh man...

saturday we woke up and it was wierd just having 2 guys in my house right when i woke up...we showered & got ready then took like an hour to decide what we were gonna do all day...we wanted to take the T into boston, but then we realized that we missed the early train and we'd get back to late if we took the next one in...oh well. we went up to max's mini golf and shaun harney didnt charge me & caroline...haha then got ice cream...it surprisingly wasnt awkward at all. i feel like ive known those kids my whole life and they're wicked sweet =) why cant the MA boys be like that?? we came home, played some bball, went to the abandoned house and went in the basement...pretty damn scary..hahah. then we came home and decided we'd just rent movies and stay in. my parents went out, so my brothers were "chaperoning" us...hahah yeah that makes lots of sense. but w/e...my bros picked out along came polly and then we watched darkness falls which was the most retarded scary movie ever..hahah we were laughing thru it it was so ridiculous...then we started 6th sense but my parents came home and made us go to bed so we could get up early to make it to six flags...

sunday we got up early and went to six flags...i fell asleep in the car but steve made me wake up haha...we got there and did all the medium rollar coasters...thunderbolt, batman, mind eraser...then finally waited 2 1\2 hours for the front of superman...hahah it was sooo fun. me and pete got the front and steve i thought was gonna crap his pantsss w/caroline behind us hahah...then we had lunch, and went over to the ferris wheel which broke...we went to blizzard river, and called josh waiting in line...and he was so mad abut how his 2 best friends were hangin out w/me and he couldnt be there...poor kid. hahah and he thinks i hooked up w/steve...haha wiierd. but yeahh i got soaked on blizzard river, my whole left side of my body + my ass was soaked...COOOL. went on a few more rides, and then the park closed @ 6...and we spent another hour in the parking lot trying to get back to the boys car...but yeahh. it was wicked funn =) then we had to say goodbye which sucked. i had such a good time with them...but they said the ride wasnt that long and that the'll be back w/josh. so im happy =) it was sad to see them go though. me and caroline slept over @ my grandmas...andd yeah

monday came home...and just relaxedd and uploaded my pixx...ohh yeah i got a digital camera early for my bdayy =)i got it early just because the boys were here so i could useee it! but yeah...then i went to see fever pitch w/jenna morgan & the crewww it was cute =)

today just lots of yardworkk and maybe some tennis or something later...who knowsss! okay well i wrote a tonnn here leave me something gooddd.

scars remind us that the past is real

Fri, 15 Apr 2005 01:06:16 GMT

its thursdayyy and i just cantt wait for vacation. ive been waiting so long for this. i emotionally need the restt from all the work i have from school and just dealing with people...yeahh. tomorrow i have a chem + algebra 2 quiz, then im off for a week. woohoo.

ill back up to last week just to update...not like anyone really cares what my past week has been like but here goes...

saturday me and holl went to the highschool to "ruN" at the track...and we decided the mats were really nice so we'd just rest awhile...then we ran one lap barefoot bc we didnt feel like putting our shoes on...hahah then we just laid out on the mats for like 1 1/2 hours hahah yeah bad idea when ur wearing a sports bra & tanktop...gives u the WORST LINES. oh yeah and i forgot to put suntan lotion on my ass so my ass/back of my legs was all red. sweet deaaal. chris stevenson came to see us, and then me and holl walked back to my house to watch the red sox & had some pizza...then she went home and i did some chores around then house then i went back to her house and we watched garden state and chasing liberty we were both wicked tired so we didnt finish garden state but oh well...

sunday i hada go to chris's aau game...uncle steve & alex showed up, and alex is a riot so that was entertaining...especially since it was like 8am...but yeaah. after that, my uncle showed me around his college babson cuz my parents want me looking at colleges even tho im not even interested in business...oh well. then we got my grandma and we all went out for brunch, came home, then went to church sunday nighttt. woo, no rest for the weary huh.

monday...match vs. st.bernards...we won 5-0. i saw alyssa rocco! i was surprised to see her on the teaam but it was good to see her =) i miss her so muchh!! umm i played exibition WOOP bc mrs.carver didnt kno how good they would be and i won 6-2 or something...yeaah singles!

tuesday...match @ fitchburg, we won 5-0...it was FREEEEEZING. the whole time we were huddled under blankets thank god the match went by relatively quick...my dad picked me up there *LATE* so the bus had to wait for me to get picked up...then i got to dance like a half hour late...hmm oh well. at least i didnt miss the choerography. umm then after thatt came home and called josh...and his dad got maddd at me because it was like 9:05...yiikes. =/ oh well...haha i like how me and josh can talk on the phone now now that i have a cell phone and the long distance doestn cost much. its nice =)

wednesday...tennis practice, then i came home did tons of homework, then had to go to ballet for 2 hours...and i was like having a breakdown bc i had so much work to do...i wanted to kill my mom for making me go to dance even tho audrey woulda killed me if i didnt show up. w/e...i went, and leia wasnt there which made it worse cuz she usually makes me laugh if im in a bad mood...but yeahh. renee and emily made me laugh tho, so it was all good. except for the fact that everytime we did the dance someone fucked up and audrey was pissed but yeahhhh okay what can ya do...i came home and did homework till like 12:30...i wanted to DIEEEEE. not to mention i have problems taking tests when im overtired...urrrgh

todayy...had my history test, so thats outa the way...stayed after for help w/chem, so i think im good for the quiz...had practice, came home...did homework and actually kinda relaxed for like 5 minutes...hahah it felt good. now im just trying to figure out my vaca plans...but so far my dad has been in a pissy mood and decided to tell me that i couldnt really do anything...

he says: i gotta go to the Romich's cookout tomorrow night w/the family....then saturday, i gotta go to the denatales w/the family...then sunday i gotta go on a hike and/or to six flags WITH THE FAMILY. then i gotta go up to the lake to get a job, and do some yard work...WITH THE FAMILY funnnn shit! thanks dad. THANKS A WHOLE LOT.

and if it goes my way, so far i have plans to fri go to the movies w/jenna & torg...and maybe evan and whoever else to see fever pitch...saturday to go out with holly & steph then sleepover stephs...sunday... whatever, i dont care...monday six flags w/holl steph & dev... tues-thurs go up to the lake & do yardwork/find a summer job...friday maybe go see "alot like love" with leia manny & isaque?? and saturday (MY BIRTHDAYYY) go to boston w/caroline jenna becky & allisonn to see phantom of the operaa...but yeahh well see what happens...and oh yeah i promised andrew i'd see him this week...so much for a relaxing week! haha peaace<33

give me your strength

Sat, 09 Apr 2005 15:14:27 GMT

heyy so its finally the weekend! THANK GOD. the weekends are so needed right now i cant imagine if we didnt have them...but yeahh anyways. yesterday i had my chem quiz which i think i did good on...knock on wood...ceramics i started my retarded looking mask, quiz in history that i think i did okay on...and then my algebra 2 test that i got an 84 on...eh w/e. im overrr all that. then after school leigh and i stayed after...but i forgot my uniform so we ran to my house to get it...haha and walked back and had a nice talk...it was nice to catch up =). so that was like 1 mile of running, 1 mile of walking back...then had team pix and then had 1 1/2 hrs of practice...which wasnt bad cuz it was so nice out =) then after that i told jenna i would run w/her...so we started with one lap of walking, and we just started talking and walked 3 miles hahah in an hour & 15 minutes...ahh my god my legs were killin me. hahah it was funny though...and we got to talk about alot of stuff =). haha me and jenna are alike in so many ways its so funny...but yeahh. afterwards i came home and my grandma was here...and i was gonna make plans but i was so physcially exhausted that i just chilled w/the family...cuz im a cool kid. ehh w/e. we watched old family movies and it was funny to see how we acted like 7 years ago...wow i was such a tool =) it was a riot. later i called josh around 10:30 and we got to talk for awhile...its nice to not always have to talk online i love being able to hear his voice its wicked cute =) i love how hes so easy to talk to too. we were talking about how guys are assholes and i was like "yeah well your not mean to me so your not an asshole" and he wsa like yeah well i like you and then hes like "your not like the other girls thats why" i was like yeah well i LOVE you. hahah...anyways it just puts me in a good mood talking to that kidd...

well todayy i got to sleep in which is always a plus...and its sunny outside, so me and holl are going to the track to run, then we're gonna walk back to my house to play some bball...then who knowss whats up for tonighttt...leavve somethin good<33

tell me what i gotta do<33

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 23:48:12 GMT

ahhh so this week is kinda going by slow but fast...ehh w/e. well friday was the dance...steph came over, and then we both went to the dance which idkk kinda sucked, but we made our own fun. haha oh well. then saturday was psat's, then i went with caroline and jenna besellos and they got their nails done...then we hung out @ jennas and finally got to catch upp...rented what lies beneath and watched thattt...hahah scarry movie. then we just stayed up late trying to talk to josh & steve...they kept calling but i had like no service in jennas house...then we talked to pat, and jus tstayed up talking and listening to old school music mixes from like 7th grade...haha it was good to see them =) the ballet girls from like 10 years ago reunited =D...sundayy, did homework, went to church & went out to dinner w/the family...

monday...finally practiced OUTSIDE yayyy. so much better then the gym...

tuesday...practice outside, and it was soooo nice & sunny. i actually started to get some color =) then we had hiphop and we finished the first half of the dance...then angela brought out the mats and we started trying some stunts hahah like this flip over the back thing that me and leia do...and diving cart wheels & stuff...

wednesday...MCAS which took me like 3 1/2 hourss...then had to go to the "homework center" for chemm ahhh...then practice outside and it was wiiicked sunny. hahah i was all decked out wtih my tennis skirt tanktop and sunglasses COOOOOL KID<< oh well i love the weather its wiiicked nice. then i came home and played some bball w/the boyss...and then dance...audrey had a little "chat" with us about how we're not stepping up in class and how we're being lazy...and she was like i dont mind you girls having fun but im sick of the fooling around the the disrespect yeah pretty sure thats aimed towards me since all i do is goof around in that class...thats all i can do, i mean its BALLETTTT someones gotta spice it up. hahah...but oh well. we basically finished snow so thats good...and i earned the nickname "tipsy" today...mmmm awesome

todayy i had to stay after school for chem w/mrs.barkhuff, then we had our first match and it was kinda cold outt...i didnt play obviously, but then me and leigh played an exibition doubles match...then we ran a mile on the track. woohoo. it actually didnt feel as hard as i thought it would...but yeah i really gotta start gettin in shape for the summer...

well i know i keep procrastinating but i have to study for my chem quiz, algebra2 test, and history quiz...sooo yeah ill write laterr thank god its almost the weekend <33

16 days til my bday:)

because of you

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 22:18:24 GMT

even though its friday i still am feeling the stress from today. had to be one of my worst days in awhile schoolwise. A period-chem quiz which i knew nothing on, plus a lab that i didnt answer everything on, and another lab that me and alvin messed up...b period was my health final which i barely studied for cuz i studied so much for chem...c period history quiz that i didnt study for...ahh and d period algebra 2 quiz which went okay...and today was the memorial for when jesse shot himself...so that was on my mind most of the day and i knew i had to hold it together because i had so much going on. i thought after i was done with all my tests/quizzes id feel relieved, but i dont..i still feel stressed and idk why...tonight me and steph are going to the dance...uggh and im really not in the mood. i came home from tennis and i just started crying...i miss jesse still and its been 2 years idk whats wrong with me. i have a problem letting people go. i just feel like staying home and sitting in my room but i know that wont help anything so im just gonna go out...oh well. hopefully it'll be okay. everythings gotta turn out okay.

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

-"Because of You" by Kelly Clarkson
^^some of that song sums up how i feel right about now

RIP Jesse
i love you so much<33

Mon, 28 Mar 2005 23:48:52 GMT

Alright-- here's the deal. Bold what you agree with/what relates to you. And if it doesn't-- you change the phrase to what DOES relate to you.

01. I have hooked up with a random kid.

02. i have been to a therapist.
03. I'm the oldest child.
04. I like summer.
05. I've been to Europe
06. I wear eyeliner every day.
07. I am extremely influenced by kindness.
08. I love to write.
09. I can't live without lipgloss
10. I've been thru something tough emotionally
11. I lived in Groton
12. I spend money I don't have.
13. ill be in college for at least 4 years
14. I wear a variety of clothes depending on my mood
15. I've had a concussion(s) before
16. I love confrontation.
17. I loved the Backstreet Boys.
18. I have more than a couple horrible memories.
19. I have seen Degrassi
20. I've only wrote one real poem and everyone says it was good..but idk

21. My first kiss was unexpected. <<AHA leiaaa "i finally thought of something to say and..."
22. I like rap.
23. I love taking pictures.
24. I don't like girls who are fake.
25. I can be mean when I want to.
26. I love my family.
27. I've kissed a guy with a name starting with an "I"
28. I don't have a shoe fetish.
29. I was into Teenage Mutant Ninja turtles as a child
30. I dress how I feel that day.
31. My room is painted a color other than white.
32. I dont cry too easily...enless im pmsing--thats a diff story
33. I'm sometimes late--depends what its for
34. I barely study for tests even tho i should
35. My birthday is my favorite holiday.
36. I have too many clothes for my closet/dresser.
37. I am not a morning person.
38. I wish I was smarter.
39. I believe you cant help who you love no matter who it is.
40. I think its okay to be gay if thats what you truly feel...
41. No one REALLY knows me.
42. I always have bad hair days.
43. I sometimes fight with my parents.
44. I am passionate about my interests.
45. I have had the chicken pox.
46. I'm a hopeless romantic.
47. I feel empty sometimes but so does everyone.
48. I am/was most likely clinically depressed at a point in my life. maybe...
49. I have major mood swings.
50. I am very outgoing.
51. I believe in God
52. I can be very insecure.
53. I'm really talkative
54. I'm a virgin
55. I love the color blue
56. I love guys that play the guitar.
57. I state the obvious.
58. I'm a happy person. most of the time
59. I have some self confidence depending on the day
60. I've never contemplated suicide.
61. I hate cleaning my room.
62. I tend to get jealous.
63. not a big fan of video games enless its with a hot guy... ;)
64. John Mayer's music is decent sometimes...
65. I get more upset when I see an animal hurt than a person.
66. I eat meat.
67. I have never had a crush on a teacher before
68. I am too forgiving.
69. I bite my nails sometimes.
70. I have a bad sense of direction.
71. I don't have a boyfriend.
72. I can play a musical instrument.
73. I can function perfectly well without a girlfriend/boyfriend.
74. I love kisses on the forehead.
75. I love the color blue.
76. I only sew pointe shoes
77. I am not addicted to drugs.
78. I dont wear contacts
79. I dont think Bush is moron.
80. I dont hate Bush
81. I take critisism pretty well as long as your not a bitch about it
82. Conformity is stupid. ((whats that??)
83. Heath Ledger--love
84. i dunno...
85. I love my family.
86. I hate getting shots.
87. I am a perfectionist when it comes to certain things.
88. I always wanted to learn to play the drums.
89. I dont have a paintball gun.
90. I havent had premarital sex.
91. I have never had Mono.
92. I am kinda religious...church every week if that counts??
93. I still act like a little kid...ha yeaa i do
94. I am sometimes indecisive.

95. I believe in a higher power or some form of an afterlife.
97. I don't think im "in love"
98. I have problems letting go of people.
99. I love how lyrics of songs describe my life situations.
100. I love chocolate ice cream.
101. I have freckles.
102. My birthday is in April.
103. umm yeah idk.
104. I like older guys.
105. I hate fighting with people. enless i dont know them then whatever...
106. I get bored very easily.
107. My parents have been married forever.
108. My hair is light-medium brown.
109. I dont get anxious in big crowds of unfamiliar people.

wow so that took an hourr...thanks renee =) ^all that is true the bold is what i agreed with with renee...and so if you take it, bold whats true for you, and then whatevers not true, change the sentence around so it is true hahah kinda confusing...

anyways, today was a typical monday. i wake up and its raining and its shitty all day. figures. A period had a big chem test that im pretty sure i failed. but thats okay. health b period, had to listen to a bunch of presentations then me and ted martland did our presentation on diaphragms & genital herpes yayy! hahah it went pretty well i was surprised he did his part of the project...c period was a history test...blahhh and d period was just SO FREAKKKIN boring...then drivers ed, and leigh and i did homework until tennis practice...and here i am procrastinating before i have to do a TON more homework. ahhh well im outt<33

oh--and will someone please take away all of my easter candy cause i feel like im about 500 lbs right now. ya thanks.

almost easter =)

Sat, 26 Mar 2005 21:26:53 GMT

considering i'm currently pmsing, im in a pretty good mood right now and it feels so refreshing. today was just such a nice day outside...it just made me feel happier, not to mention that me and one of my best friends made up...she forgave me and we finally got to catch up on everything that has gone on since we last talked. and that just lifted a huge weight off my chest. its crazy how little things added up can make you feel so much better. hopefully when i go back to school everything doesnt bring me down again like it normally does. i hateeee that. but yeah, the spring weather is just awesome...this morning i couldnt even get out of bed my cramps were so bad, but later this afternoon i was able to even go out and play some bball with pat & chris. and it was so warm in the sun...anyways.

thursday night i went out to see the ring2 with tom jenna evan & morgan. it actually kinda sucked, but i was expecting to be really scared so the whole time i was curled up in a ball hahah...there were these wicked annoying kids that wouldnt stop talking so i threw a handful of pennies at them and then they tried to throw them back at us and tom got hit with all of them...hahah poor kid. aftewards jenna had to get a few things at the mall, so me morgan and evan went with her...after a close call of getting locked in the mall, we went to dunkin donuts for some food...hahah that was a comedy in itself. just hangin out with those kids puts me in a good mood. we're ordering at the dunkin donuts and evan's ordering, then taking back his order, then changing his mind...then theres me trying to get a de cafe ice coffee and making sure its flavored...and then jenna having to ask for extra sugar and them almost forgetting half our order...i guess you just have to be there to think its funny haha =) then i just went home and stayed up with my mom for awhile because jenna and morgan culdnt sleep over cuz they had school...rightt.

fridayy...worked out, played some 2v2 with chris pat and ryan springs...woooo FUN STUFF right there. then we had to go to stations of the cross for good friday...then after that i just came home and rested before going out to the mall with holl steph & allison which was pretty fun...we tried on some ugly prom dresses as a joke and took pictures...hahah...and just walked around...we saw tom, brenden, kyle, timf, and anthony...and the hockey boys...and some other peopleee...then after that, around 9:15 we went to smokey bones for dinner...our food took like 1348 years to come...duke LOSTTTT in march maddness, but UNC won thank god...and celtics lost =/ urrrrrgh. oh well...

well im outta here, gotta pack up and get ready for easter sunday @ my grandmas...and goin to church tonight...peaace<33

so go ahead & take a picture...& hang it up so you can tear me down

Thu, 24 Mar 2005 21:03:16 GMT

this week has been so long even though we had 4 days of school...im so gladdd its vaca! for 3 days. haha ill take what i can get. Monday i had drivers ed but me and leigh left for like a half hour to go to the tennis meeting hahh what a joke. i feel kinda bad for the freshmen cuz mrs.carvers not taking ANYONE new this year. or so she says. theres gonna be a "developmental" team but thats it. ohh well. more playing time for us =D hopefully. monday night i waited forever for josh to come on cuz he said he had to talk to me...but nope. he got on the minute after i got off...peter said anyways. urgh. he got fired, for somethin really stupid...so now he has more time...which isnt a really good thing, but at least i get to talk to him more. before it was like once every 2 months...now its like every other day...which is nice =).

tuesday i was supposta have a wicked full day with dentist, tennis, dance & bball...but bball was cancelled...so i just came home and hung out after dance. i have been getting so much homework lately its insane. when tennis really starts up i dont know how im going to keep up...ahhh i dont wanna think about it! at least health is ending next week...she gives us a ton of work :(. i could kill her...ITS HEATLH. oh well.

wednesday...drivers ed, and dance...had a really long convo with josh which was good because it felt like we were drifting before and now i think its getting better...i reallycant wait till he comes up this summer. they better get here...i dont wana get my hopes up for something that wont happen. it makes me feel good knowing that when everythings going wrong i can always count on him no matter what happens...no matter how many friends stab me in the back, or how many fights i get in...i can always trust him. its a sense of comfort that really helps when you feel alone..

thursday (today) we had a delay...which sucked because i wanted to take my chem test, and now i have to study on SUNDAY night for it. most people would want that...but now i have it hanging over my head for easter...oh well. tonight im going to see the ring2 with jenna tom evan & morg...hopefully it'll be fun. and not too scaryyyy =/ haha. idk what else is going on for the weekend...

one thing that i noticed this week is i just cant stand at how two faced people are. i really cant even stand my school right now. this happens every march/april...and i just cant wait to get out for the summer. there are some people that just piss me off so much...and im jus sick of shit. sick of people who think everyone loves them when they dont, and everyone talking shit about everyone. im not saying i dont do it either...but i just cant stand how i dont even know who my best friends are anymore. i feel like i have no one. and that has to be one of the worst feelings in the world. theres probably 2 people in the whole world i can trust right now...and idk what happened to everyone else. idk im just in a bad frame of mind right now i hope this doesnt offend anyone...

get it on the flooor

Mon, 21 Mar 2005 01:24:13 GMT

well every week it seems like i have less&less time to write in this thing...but whatever. last week was pretty long...Monday drivers ed + sports awards...hahah and lap jus had to mention our foul shooting for one of our big games and how it was like 5 for 12...thanksss lap! and she told the story about how she told us to play board games and then she was saying how we drove wayy up in nh looking for dream phone hahah that was with tom...oh man. goodtimess.

tuesday was dance+open gym...like 35+ guys went to open gym it was sooo crowded, which sucked. my team blew, and i was getting open and they WOULDNT GIVE ME THE BALL. even a bunch of the guys watching were liek SHES OPEN GIVE HER THE BALL! it was wicked gaay. but whatever, the are the guys, and it is their open gym so w/e.

wed drivers ed+dance...dance went okay, better then usual. im still tryin to decide if im gonna do the dance "snow" on pointe or not...like, if i really wanted to i think i could be ready...but im really nervous because its wicked hard and i dont wanna be stressed out to be ready in time and strong enough...but idk. i gotta decide soon...

thursday i went to the middle school for an open gym w/the boys, and then to the HS open gym...which was kinda better then tuesday...my knee was killing me, and woods picked me for his team which sucked ass bc hes an asshole on the court. he kept swearing @ us and kept blaming me when i didnt catch his fast break passes...but they werent even good passes, they were wicked strong ad hit the wall before i even got down there...i was like yeah w/e. so finally he was like YOU GUYS ARE THE WORST TEAM OUT HERE. i wont play for you anymore so then he sits down and tells amanda shes on our team...and he makes us go play adam's team who were undefeated...so we go over there and we beat adams team by 3 points. and i actually scored like 2 jumpers or something...and woods was like whats the spread and i was like we're up by 3 and he was like oohhh attitude and just gave me this look. i was like yeah so SIT DOWN and shut up. god he bugs me so much sometimes. anywayyys

friday after school i wanted to go see the ring2 with some people...butttt i coudlnt cuz my mom was singing a mass and made us go...ahhh church on a friday...not my thing. =/ then after i just did nothingg...

saturday spent the whole day @ the highschool for the3on3 tourny that i didnt even play in...but i scored for about 5 or 6 hours...which is good community service that i needed...and i got to see some people play which was good =) these random liek 25 year old black guys were hitting on me and my mom which was sketchy...and they kept like asking me how old i was and kept telling me they wanted me to ice them...i was like mmmk cool. after all that, i went to carolines, and her dad drove us to allisons in billerica...who i hadnt seen in like 2 years or something! it was soo good to see her =) and jenn was there too so we were finally all back togetherr =D. we got ready, then allison drove us to whaltham to see kaitlin @ the hospital. in the car we called up steve, and he was @ work so hes like oh kristina i have someone here who wants to talk to you so he puts josh on the phone so we got to talk for liek 20 minutes...omg i love him =) i really do. but then we had to go when we got to the hospital. kaitlin was looking better to me...like her attitude. shes still soooo skinny, but i really think she's improving mentally. i hope she gets out soon, we miss her so much =( after that, we went back to allisons, and were getting ready to go out for food, and then to a party...but then her mom called and told us that she wanted us to stay in...idkk why. but yeahh we had a goodtime anyways...watched the notebook, took stupid pix, made some food...it was a goodtime=) i love those girls. later steve called us at liek 2:30am and me and caroline talked to him for awhile...haha i cant wait till they come up this summer! =) its gonna be so fun. hopefully...

sunday...went home, then went back to the 3on3 tourny cuz my dad was in the semifinals/championship games...they lost in the championships, but whateverrr haha...i saw some people there again, including the black guys that were saying stuff the day before...and they were like rolling balls at me so id have to come over to give them back...mmm awkward. haha...by the time i got home it was like 6pm...ahhh ya way to waste my whole dayy! did homework, andddd here i am. hopefully this week isnt too long...4day week, so im pumped =D well im outt<33

survey stolen from renee

Sat, 19 Mar 2005 00:06:02 GMT

...Let's see what I've done...

( )Snuck out of the house
(X)Gotten lost in your city/town
(X)Saw a shooting star
(X)Been to any other countries besides the United States/Canada
(X)Had a serious surgery
(X)Gone out in public in your pajamas
(X)Kissed a stranger
(X)Hugged a stranger
(X)Been in a fist fight
( )Been arrested
(X)Smoked Cigs...when i was like 10
(X)Had alcohol
(X)Pushed all the buttons on an elevator
( )Made out in an elevator
(X)Swore at your parents
(X)Kicked a guy where it hurts
(X)Been in love
(X)Been close to love
(X)Been to a casino
(X)Broken a bone
( )Been high
(X)Skinny-dipped
( )Skipped school
(X)Flashed someone
(X)Saw a therapist
(X)Done the splits
(X)Played spin the bottle
(X)Gotten stitches
( )Had an IV
( )Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
(X)Bitten someone
( )Been to Niagara Falls
(X)Gotten the chicken pox
( )Crashed into a friend's car
( )Been to Japan
(X)Ridden in a taxi
(X)Been dumped
(X)Been rejected
( )Shoplifted
(X)Been fired
( )Ever had a crush on someone of the same sex
(X)Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back...HA thats my liiiifee
( )Stole something from your job
(X)Gone on a blind date
(X)Lied to a friend
( )Had a crush on a teacher
( )Celebrated Mardi-Gras in New Orleans
(X)Been to Europe
( )Slept with a co-worker (liberal use of the word slept! liberal!)
( )Been married
( )Gotten divorced
( )Had children
( )Saw someone die
( )Been to Africa
(X)Been to Mexico
(X)Been on a plane
( )Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( )Been in the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( )Thrown up in a bar
( )Purposely set a part of yourself on fire
(X)Eaten Sushi
(X)Been snowboarding
( )Met someone in person from the internet...this summmerr i will have =)
(X)Been moshing at a rock show...sorta
( )Been to a moto cross show
(X)Lost a child
( )Gone to college
( )Graduated college
( )Taken painkillers
(XXX)Love someone or miss someone right now

it looks like such fun, until you lose what you had won

Mon, 14 Mar 2005 02:20:39 GMT

hmmm so its been almost a week since i last wrote...time is flying. in a way. i cant believe its already march 13th. yiikes. anyways, last week was pretty uneventful, tuesday it snowed so after school dance & open gym was cancelled...wed i had dance...broke my new shoes in and damn they were killing me. haha got to talk to leia about isaque...haha told her "my side of the story" haha oh godd. thursday did some community service @ the boosters club...haha funnn stuff. friday i went and played tennis w/jenna, steve & evan after school, which was wicked fun besides the fact that im sooo bad now. ehh, then i went to the celtics game w/gdybl people...it was all guys except for shannon, so we hung out the whole time on the bus and stuff. billy was there, but it was mostly 5th-8th grade boys. haha funnn stuff!. it was the first time i really hung out w/shannon tho so it was really fun. shes awesome =) anywayss, there were a bunch of hot guys and they kept walking by our seats and saying stuff...haha we were like mmm hiiii. WE WON which was awesomeee in double overtime...=D i was so happy. then we were walking outside looking for the bus and these random guys were like wHERE YOU AT WHERE YOU AT (like from the song "soldier" by destinys child haha) oh godd...on the busride home andrew kept calling...so i talked to him and he was drunk, so yeah you can guess how that went. and then we called up tomm to say hello. and andrew called again...ahh. saturday PSAT's were cancelled =D cuz of the snow...and then the rest of the day i just hung out/worked out and did chores before we went to my grandmas for Matthew's and pat's bdays...that was pretty fun. the little kids are a riot.

Sunday ((today)) went to church in holliston, came home, went to my game wicked early...haha got pumpeddd up, and then it was our CHAMPIONSHIP game. we played pretty baddd & sloppy but w/e... we won like 27-24. i fouled out with like 8 minutes left in the second half...it sucked ass because i wanted to play sooo badly. carver told me to foul tho if i had to (if they were gettina layup) cuz we couldnt afford to give them any of those points) but damn it sucks to foul out. but at least we won. we got crap colored shirts, and a trophy. but its all good. we were happy we won. umm the rest of the day i slepttt and then we went out to dinner @ gibbett hill grill...uggh school tomorrow + drivers ed +sports awards. its gonna be a long week.okkay peace out<33

i have major league ADD

Mon, 07 Mar 2005 23:50:36 GMT

ugghhh i cannt bring myself to finish this lab. its supposta be a "formal" lab and i jus HATE DOING THIS. anywayys, as for today...wasn't as bad as normal mondays. i was in a pretty good mood most of the day, and i got all my homework done in school except for all my chem homework + writin up that lab. which for me is pretty good cuz i usually have so much. not to mention the assignment i had in chem took me 1 1\2 hrs and i still havent done the formal lab thats due...uh tomorrow yesssss. hows it feel to be a procrastinator? let me tell you. just great. anywayss:: have you ever noticed how someone just saying hi to you can make your whole day brighter? whether its a certain guy or even just someone you haven't seen in awhile...really helps make everything better.

after school was drivers ed & all we did was watch movies...so i wrote andrew a letter cuz i hadnt heard from him in awhile. ha you might be thinking "a letter?" me and andrew have this thing...sometimes im too busy to call him and hes usually grounded from aim/email so we write to eachother. plus its kinda nice getting real mail a few times a week. anyways the kid hasnt called me in a week & a half which worries me because im used to getting 3-4 missed calls a day from him. oh well im just really hoping hes not getting himself into deeper shit...the last time we talked he was close to going to jail so i dont know whats going on. but--i can honestly say that since he stopped calling ive been in a better mood because his problems aren't weighing me down. not like i dont like helping him out thats not the case. its just...once in awhile i need an emotional break from it all. it was getting so stressful for me that everytime he called and told me his problems or just how he "didn't give a fuck" about life anymore, id just sit there and start to cry because i care about him and i was so scared that something was gonna happen. hes only about 45 minutes away but its far enough for me to feel like im completely helpless when he really needs me to be there for him. uggh idk im just in a stuck place right now. its like if i dont "go out" with him like he says, then hes gonna be depressed, and thats not what i need...and i dont like him like that anymore. i care about him strictly as a friend...and its not enough for him. idk how to make him happy without being with him...its impossible...does anyone have any advice?

im out<3

fuck chemistry

Mon, 07 Mar 2005 01:30:54 GMT

hmmmm well right now im trying to do my formal lab and GUESS WHAT its not working out. fuck this. hahah so thats why im writing. not much i really wanna publicize here for everyone to read, but...my weekend in a nutshell: saturday had a game, we won...thank god. by like 8 points or something. it was cool cause we actually had an audience @ NMS. tom even came! hahah and it was an early game too, i was impressed. mike crowley was there, with some other people. we didnt play our best game...but it wasnt too bad. on thurs i had played @ the open gym w/the boys which made me alot more aggressive i think because i felt like i played so much more aggressively at the game...hahah which also made me foul more. one was stupid cz the girl just tripped over my knee but w/e...then one of the fouls i completely knocked the girl over...i saw her going for the shot, i ran in and tried to knock the ball but yeahh haha pretty bad foul. i said i was sorry but the girl just gave me this look...mmm okay. a bunch of the girls were so annoying tha ti didnt even care if i knocked em around alittle bit...my shot was so off though. ahhh probably from shooting w/the guys ball on thursday...but ya i couldnt hit ANYTHING. only got 1 of 4 foul shots, and idk how many baskets i missed. oh well. i had 4 fouls with like 14 minutes left in the second half...so carver made me sit. then kathleen hurt her ankle & steph hurt her ankle too...so carver put me back in at about 10 minutes left...and told me to just play like i was before even tho i had 4 fouls...amazingly i didnt foul out hahah it was wicked lucky. we were all on the floor for the ball which was good, minus the fact that i have bruises on my elbows and knees...hahah hey thats the price to pay i guess. championship game is next sunday...we'll see what happens. after my game i had to go to chris's game, (they won) and then pats game @ athol (they also won) so all 3 of our teams are going to championships. after pats game we went out for dinner w/my grandmother beause she came out...and then we went home and i did nothing for the rest of the nightt cuz i had no plans. funnnn stuff...

todayy pats championship game @ ashburnham...they lost. and then chris's championship game...me and rob did the book/clock hahah and we got to talk so that was good...and chris's team won! by like 10 points so that was cool, the other coach was like dropping F bombs and everythingg to the 5th graders i was like ommmgg. it was crazy. oh well...then after we went to chris's coach's house for pizza and then i came home and have been doing homework ever since. iiiiiiiiii love my life right now...hopefully this will be a quick week...not like i have much to look forward to for next weekend besides PSAT's on sat morning, and my cousin matt's birthday dinner @ my grandmas on saturday...YESSS. im outta here<33

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Fri, 04 Mar 2005 21:10:19 GMT

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Sat, 26 Feb 2005 15:32:58 GMT

Memories...
If you read this, even if i don't speak to you often, please post a memory of me. It can be anything you want, it can be good or bad, just so long as it happened.

As a bonus I'll reply to your comment with a memory about you.

^^haha those are always fun so leave a note =)

umm well vacas almost over sadly. went by wayyy too fast. yesterday i went to the mall with caroline becky & abby...but becky didnt have her car so we couldnt stay long...and we dint go to the movies. so i came home early and did NOTHINGGG for the rest of the night. then last night i couldnt sleep again. damnit and i hate it because i reallyyyy need the sleep. im getting sick and being tired on top of that is just sucky. but anywayss...idk what im doing today & tomorrow...but then school on monday =( how depressing is that. uggh well i guess i just gotta count down till april vaca...mmm welll im outt. dont forget to leave a note about a memory!

good weekk so far =)

Fri, 25 Feb 2005 20:44:14 GMT

hmmm so this week has been pretty good for the most part...tuesday me steph and holl went to the girls tourny game @ westboro...we lost but it was still fun. hahah then on the way home we got food and burrger king was lockeddd even tho it was like 9...but yeahh and we stuck our head sout the sunroof on the way home...haha wickkedd fun =) then we just chilled at stephs and watched the notebook...josh's friend steve called me which was funny cuz josh hadnt even called me before...and hes like "yeah ill call you jus so you can hear my voice and i can hear yours" i was like mmmk...uhh but yeah me and the girls had a goodtime...stayed up till like 3am...talked to some lucky people on the phone...haha like tom. and left voicemails on chris's phone...hahah. gotta love it.

wednesday i came home and basically showered and got ready and then becky and caroline picked me up and we went to the burlington mall. we met up with kaitlin shimer there, and we shopped for awhile. in the foodcourt these 2 kids were like starrrring at us when we walked by...probably because becky was dressed liek a whore. hahah thats arright =) it was really good to see kaitlin =D i miss her. uhh shopped around and then Jenn came!! i was so glad she could make it. i hadnt seen her in liek 1 or 2 years. so most of our dance crew was together but allison couldnt make it =(. hahah...these random hispanic/black guys were like heyy mammiiis to us when we were in filenes or something and we were like ummmm hi and they were like meet us at the moviesss laterrr...hahah yeahh okkay. some random kids sold us their cd...haha we only got it because they were cute...i mean $1 from each of us to get it so it wasnt badd...then later kaitlin got an anxiety attack which was wicked scary. =( her mom picked her upp we were all really scared. after she left, we realized becky left her keys in the car so i went back out with her so she wouldnt be alone...and they saw us and were liek there they arrreee, holler atcha boyyy and gave us their numbers...we were like uhhh okayy haha. it was funny though.

uhh after jenn got picked up me caroline and becky went back to their house...and hung outt for awhille. watched american idol, and hung out with timmmayy but then he went home cuz i said it was girls night hahah now i feel bad. at like 9:30 i get a call on my cell phone and its a ny area code so i wsa like whatt...and i pick it up and its josh. i couldnttttt believe it. i like didnt know what to say. 3 years and he finally calls. we talked for like 2 hours...and it wasnt awkward like i thought it was gonna be at all. we talked about everything...from remembering stuff from 3 years ago to his mom's death, and just all this stuff...it was so great to hear his voice. i cant even explain how happy i was. even after i got off the phone i couldnt stop smiling all night. hahah it was PATHETIC. so then after we called tom back, and we were like being crazy...haha we were dancing, and i was pole dancing with carolines window curtin that had fallen down. hahaha ohhh my god. we watched napoleon dynamite, and then called pat back...hahah which was funny cuz...its pat. andd yeah haha.

yesterdayy i was supposta see andrew but he couldnt cuz he had drum lessons...cooool. today i was supposta see him but now hes grounded. even cooler. whatever im gonna probably go out with caroline and hopefully allison tonighttt =) and idk what else for the rest of the weekend well im outt<33

longg boring weekend

Tue, 22 Feb 2005 21:40:08 GMT

sooo this weekend was probably the most boring EVER. saturday we finally got to the lake around like 6...the whole way up my dad and me actually had a real conversation about real stuff. it was nice. and for once we didnt fight. we were talking about basketball and he was like you know, i never told you but i never played jv basketball (which is a huge surprise because he was so big into varsity sports like rugby & soccer and everything) and he was just like i want you to know that im proud of you for playing jv this year i was like woww...but anyways. after getting up there i got to see the kids alex & andrew...and talked to adi...and then we watched the cable guy...wickedd sketchy movie.

sundayy slept in...and watched tv/the notebook with my aunt, 2nd cousin, and andrew (haha hes like 3 and was watching the sex scenes with interest) oh jeezzz...then whene veryone got back my grandma cooked dinner, anddd yeah.

monday...went shopping for like 3 hours @ tjmaxx w/pat & my grandma...haha tried on about 40 pairs of jeans because nothing fits right...got 2 pairs of jeans, and 3 shirtss...and then watched airplane & mtv for the rest of the day until we went out for dinner w/the family...

and todayy we finally came home. tonight im going to the girls varsity district game w/holl & steph...then we're sleeping over stephs...tomorrow im going to the burlington mall w/caroline allison & jen cuz i havent seen them in sooo longg and then hopefully sleeping over carolines...then im supposta see andrew and idkk what else is going on...well im outt<33